Activity #7

I thought that the “eye contact” experiment was very interesting. It reminded me of something that might happen in a sit-com. But to get to the point, this morning I stared at my girlfriend, not breaking eye contact for about two nonstop minutes. At first she thought I was just being silly because she offered a quick smirk when I cut in front of her in order to keep eye contact when she turned suddenly to get a soda out of the fridge. After that incident, though, she started to get annoyed with me. For instance, while we continued our conversation at the kitchen counter, she eventually asked me in her sassy voice “What are you doing?” Also, she soon said that I was making her feel uncomfortable. After she told me that she was feeling uncomfortable I decided to debrief her.

Even though I found the previous experiment interesting and fun, I found the “No Eye Contact” experiment even more interesting and fun. For instance, soon after I performed the first experiment on my girlfriend, I performed the second one on her as well. When we were eating lunch this afternoon at Perkins, I decided to keep my eyes fixated only on my club sandwich and fries. Even when I took a bite, I kept my head slanted downward so that my eyes wouldn’t catch her eyes. I don’t think she really realized anything until the server came to our table and asked us how everything was. Needless to say, I decided to keep my eyes on my plate. Upon doing so, my girlfriend kicked me in the leg under the table while commenting “Would it kill you to show some manners?” After she commented the latter, however, I couldn’t help but start smirk and laugh. Upon doing so, I had to debrief her because I think she was beginning to think that I suddenly transformed into a rude person. Even so, she forced me to give the server an extra nice tip for acting rudely. If I didn’t have to give a big tip I would have enjoyed the experiment more so, but I did, however, enjoy annoying my girlfriend again.

For the third experiment I had planned to perform on someone other than my girlfriend, but because she made me give a substantial tip, I decided to perform it on her instead. After we exited the booth to leave, I calmly closed in on her. In doing so, I realized that this third experiment was much tougher than the previous ones. I think it was tougher because I felt more awkward performing an unusual action with my body rather than my eyes. More to the point, the act of closing in on another person can be interpreted in several ways—aggressively, sexually, romantic, etc. And frankly, I didn’t want my girlfriend to interpret any of the before mentioned characteristics.

Nonetheless, she felt comfortable to let me move her nearer a cornered wall. I think she was expecting a hug or a kiss on the cheek, but I wasn’t about to be a “romantic” in public. Not a chance! So I instead closed near her and told her what I was instructed to do. After that, she scoffed, rolled her eyes, and while turning around said “let’s go.”

In doing these experiments, I now realize that one of the most aggravating components in life is not being able to interpret someone else’s nonverbal behavior. For instance, I don’t think I would enjoy myself very much while visiting a different culture if I was unaware of their nonverbal queues.

Question: In terms of chronemics, have you ever come across a time when you were unwilling to wait for someone or something—an appointment to start, a meeting with a person, etc? Or, have you ever come across a time when you found yourself not wanting to wait for someone or something, but decided to anyway? How do you think the latter or former reflect you in relation to the nonverbal communicator of chronemics?