Activity #5

Avowed Identities: Reserved, young adult, stubborn, hardworking, procrastinator, mature, and frugal.

Ascribed Identities: Shy, adolescent, stubborn, lazy, procrastinator, mature, and frugal.

The majority of my ascribed identities derive from individuals for whom I have spent much of my time around—family, friends, and coworkers. For instance, even though I consider myself a young adult, my parents—more my mother than my father however—treat me more like an adolescent. During fall and spring semesters, for example, she continuously left me phone messages if I failed to return her phone calls.

The latter example brings me to another ascribed identity: individuals thinking that I am a procrastinator. My mother thinks I am a procrastinator in regards to returning her phone calls, my brothers and friends think I put-off my school work to the last minute, and my dad thinks I am procrastinating my life away. In short, he thinks I should have a job by now—5 ½ years after I started postsecondary school. Nonetheless, I admit to being a procrastinator. I put-off returning phone calls, I despise schoolwork (unless I get to write my own short story), and because I failed to “push” myself as a student with slightly more substantial credit loads, I still don’t have a degree.

At this moment, I would like to comment on my ascribed identity of “lazy.” To me, I no longer agree with the ascribed identity despite, in retrospect, I would agree with the labeling a few years ago. For instance, I have really transformed myself from a “what is the point” student to a student who has finally become a hardworking learner. But it seems that my former education record has resulted in a negative stigma. For instance, even though I struggled through 36 credits in the past two semesters, my family made ignorant remarks about my presumed laziness—“I’m sure you aren’t going to study all weekend, Anthony.” As a result of my family’s continuing belief that I’m lazy, I have found myself attempting to resist their comments. For instance, sometimes I remarked to my mother that she has no idea how difficult it is to take six upper-level classes. More to the point, sometimes I even rejected my brothers’ invitation to go golfing with him because I didn’t want to put-up with what I would’ve considered an ignorant comment on his behalf.

But whereas I might ultimately be to blame for my “lazy” ascribed identity, my ascribed identity of “shy” has been hovering over me because of the American individualistic society. For instance, I believe that American culture prefers a verbal society compared to a non-verbal society. Because of that, my peers at a very young age labeled my “shy.” Like I hinted to in a previous post of mine, however, I have never enjoyed the label of “shy.” I believe the word has grown to embody a negative quality, a quality that describes a deficiency. Because of the negative quality that now defines the word I have found myself resisting the label more and more often as my beliefs in the matter have strengthened with passing years. For instance, I always make excuses to not see my dad’s relatives because I don’t appreciate some of their comments. Also, about two years ago when I was eating dinner at Applebees with a few members of my family, I calmly rose from my seat, left the restaurant, and drove off after my aunt had commented “Sorry, he’s the shy one” to the waitress because my meal order was not heard in full detail.

To bring this discussion to a close, I am glad to say that a few ascribed identities I agree with are my being mature, frugal, and stubborn. Ever since my sophomore year of high school, for example, I worked in banquets—setting and serving banquet meetings and wedding receptions—and because of that I had to act mature due to the formal surroundings. One of my catering directors, for example, once guessed that I was 26 years old when I was only 19 years old. Nonetheless, to move on, I suppose my frugality derives from my family never having much free money to spend. I certainly attempt to resist this frugal quality of mine during holidays by spending more money, but more often than not, I am very stingy with my money. And lastly, my favorite quality: my stubbornness. I believe my stubbornness comes from my belief that in order to be a principled person one must also be a stubborn person. For instance, my favorite basketball coach since a young child has been the stubborn Michigan State basketball coach Tom Izzo. Also, several films portray memorable stubborn characters, such as William Wallace. Due to the latter and former, I have developed a stubborn personality.

In the end, I don’t mind some of my ascribed identities whereas others poke my nerves every day. I suspect that my avowed and ascribed identities will change slightly throughout my life, but I don’t suspect that they will ever match entirely.

Question: If you could convince every person in your life to discontinue labeling you with one ascribed identity that you internally or externally resist, what would you choose? Why?