Activity #10

Members of my American culture, I think, consider their immediate families when one asks them about their own families. For instance, when someone brings up the casual conversation of family, individuals in my culture immediately start talking about their kids, their wives, their husbands, their sisters, their brothers, or their mothers and fathers. But rarely do people start talking about grandparents or uncles or aunts or cousins or nephews, etc.

Inside this “immediate family,” however, common roles are set in place for each member. The father, for instance, is still looked upon as the dominant figure in the home. Even though more women in our society are working in the marketplace rather than merely at home, the most common ideal in our society is for men to support the families financially. The wife, on the other hand, generally holds the responsibilities of caring, nurturing, and tending to the needs of her immediate family. Of course these responsibilities may not hold true for each family—i.e. a woman working in the marketplace rather than at home—but for the most part women are still considered to be responsible for the health of the home. For instance, women still cook more than men, do the laundry more than men, and clean the home more than men. In contrast, men spend most of their free time at home playing catch with their sons, working in their home offices, or watching sporting events.

But even though women are still generally considered “homemakers,”—the primary cooks, laundry doers, and cleaners of the homes—their requirement to fit into such a role seems to be diminishing. For instance, more women are entering college, and furthermore, more women are furthering their education to graduate school. Because of that, more American women are entering the workforce and staying in the workforce. Thus, as women get older, they no longer feel the need to fit a prescribed role; a role that they probably thought probable as an adolescent.

In terms of the American culture’s norms in regards to dating habits, we generally date individuals for whom represent similar features, such as similar goals in life (raise a family, etc), or even people who are of the same ethnic background. For instance, very infrequently does one see an interracial couple, especially among dating adolescents. Thus, American society considers ones dating habits not necessarily taboo, but certainly slightly abnormal when a person dates another person who has dissimilar interests in life, or a person who doesn’t share similar physical features.

More to the point, however, American society, for the most part, is against homosexual relationships. Of course the American harsh opinion in regards to homosexuality has lessened over the years, the general conception remains that homosexuality is abnormal and taboo. For instance, my culture finds conversations about homosexuality very uncomfortable.

Nonetheless, after individuals have dated for quite some time, the male suitor is generally the one who proposes his desire—directly himself and in person—to get married. Most times, I think, the man either kneels down and asks the girl or asks her over a nice arranged dinner. Either way, the man is generally the one who asks for his lady’s hand in marriage. And if a proposal is accepted, obviously a wedding is held. In the case of weddings in American culture, most weddings tend to be held in churches. With that said, an uprising of more outdoor weddings, such as on beaches or near beautifully skirted scenic areas, have entered our society. Nonetheless, along with their close friends, the family members belonging to soon-to-be husband and wife attend the ceremony. Depending on the preferences of the couple, especially preference of the lady, the number of family members on each side of the family attending the ceremony varies from a small amount to a large amount. Even so, most family members, even extended family members, are invited to the reception following the ceremony.

After marriage, however, divorce is very common in American culture. In fact, several marriages end in divorce even though divorce is not a preferred conclusion to a marriage. Thus, even though most of us Americans frown upon divorce, we clearly don’t write off such possible outcome to marriage.

When divorce occurs in American society, though, the majority of the legal rights side with the woman. The latter obviously is not the case if legal matters come into play, but for the most part, the legal process in America favors women during divorce proceedings. For instance, if the couple has children, the woman is generally given primary custody in favor of the husband. More to the point, since most men still make the majority of family incomes, many women in divorce courts are awarded monthly financial security from ex-husbands’ earnings.

When considering my culture’s characteristics and my role within society, my roles and opinions generally agree with the American norms. For instance, I believe, at the end of the day, that it will be my responsible as a man to support my family. Thus, even though I am certainly not against a woman working in the marketplace, I believe that my utmost responsibility as a man is to ensure the financial security of my family. Furthermore, I share the same feelings of my culture in terms of dating habits and homosexuality. For instance, even though I am accepting of homosexuality, the topic of homosexuality still makes me feel awkward. Also, I am more comfortable dating a girl whom shares similar traits with me, such as being of the same ethnic background (white), sharing future goals, or sharing a similar personality. With all this said, I do disagree with one component of my culture: divorce. I am personally not against the idea of “divorce,” but rather against my culture’s overwhelming carelessness with marriage; a carelessness that results many times in divorce. For instance, I don’t think many people in my culture get married for love. Instead, family pressure, money, and personal discontent seem to influence the desire to get married in my culture as much as one being in love does. Thus, even though I share many beliefs of my culture, I do believe that my culture is oftentimes very immature when deciding to get married or not.

Question: Would you be comfortable intermarrying into a different culture with different norms? Why or why not?